Club Chaos Agents - All Things Hollish, Wacked, and Jacked

A client implied a few days ago that I have other sources of income primarily because I am a real estate broker. It occurred to me how little the public knows about the real estate profession. They talk to friends who feed them misinformation. Being a real estate broker means I am held to a higher standard of knowledge, which can result in a higher level of personal liability, actually. But it doesn't equate to a higher commission check. I still work for Lyon Real Estate, which has its own broker.

Moreover, sometimes sellers think that we real estate agents have a magic wand for selling their home. That we are going to do something special, out-of-the-ordinary or spectacular like fly the Goodyear blimp over their home and drop ch-ch-ch-cherry bombs or give away a free BMW. They figure we know just what to say to make that buyer whip out the checkbook and write an earnest money deposit.

The truth is buyers do whatever the heck they want to do. And I'm seeing a lot of them pause and reflect before writing an offer, which is excellent news. Impulsive purchases can lead to buyer's remorse and cold feet.

A few months ago, I'd receive offers from buyers before I even noticed their agent had shown them the home. I try to check MLS every night to follow up on my listings. Now, I see offers coming in a few days after a showing. So, either buyers are looking at more homes before making an offer or they are taking their time to consider which home they want to buy.

When I put a home on the market, I would like to kid myself that it's my carefully crafted description of the home that is motivating a buyer to go see it. However, we all know it's the photos. Because you can't sell a home online. The only thing a listing agent is doing by putting a listing on the online is motivating a buyer to want to see that home. You can't sell a home if you can't get a buyer inside of it. Photos entice a buyer. Photos tell a story. Photos speak a 1000 words. Photos deliver a message.

One of the things I've been focusing on lately is showing buyers the view from inside out. What can you see outside of the window? What is the view like? If you were standing on the front steps of that home, what do you see? Sometimes it's a picture I want to include in my listings, and sometimes it is not. We've all been there with that buyer who doesn't want to get out of the car when we pull up. Bbbbut that house is brown, and I don't like brown houses . . . whine.

I just listed an unusual condo in the Astoria condominiums in Natomas. It's a 4-story with the master suite located on the top level. It also sits at the back of the development with a view of the greenbelt. It's this location that makes the condo worth its asking price of $130,000. 2580 West El Camino Avenue, #10101, Sacramento, CA 95835 is offered exclusively by Lyon Real Estate as a short sale. For more information, call your Sacramento short sale agent, Elizabeth Weintraub, at 916 233 6759. For a private showing, call Linda Swanson at 916 607 0111.

Photo: Elizabeth Weintraub

An agent yesterday called me a crack up. Because I told him: If your buyer is happy, my life is complete. OK, so maybe I was half joking but I was also half serious. As a Sacramento short sale agent, I am concerned if the buyers for my listings are happy. Primarily because if the buyers are not happy, they can make my life and my short sale sellers' life a living hell. And a living hell is not where I want to be or anybody should be.

We short sale agents have enough stress. How much stress, you ask? I'll tell you. Yesterday, I stood at my FAX machine and pressed "copy" over and over. Nothing happened. You know what they say about doing something over and over, right? And getting the same results? That's the definition of insanity.

My fax machine has been acting weird lately. It tells me I am offline when I am faxing. And it won't produce a copy. I've been too busy to work on it. It's one of those annoyances that is not a high priority until it is.

So, I asked my husband to take a look at my FAX and figure out what's wrong with it. He looked at the function buttons, and I thought he was going to press menu and do the things I have already done. But, no. He opened the tray. It was empty. I had no paper.

It's the ability to laugh at myself, out loud and very loudly, that brings me back to center. A place of peace.

I listed a new short sale in Natomas yesterday, a beautiful two-story with 3,369 square feet and a pool / spa. 440 Lyman Circle, Sacramento, CA 95835 is exclusively offered by Lyon Real Estate as a short sale at $304,900. For more information, call your Sacramento short sale agent, Elizabeth Weintraub, at 916 233 6759. For a private showing, call Linda Swanson at 916 607 0111. Photo of the pool and spa below, by Elizabeth Weintraub.

An agent emailed yesterday to say he tried to show a listing but the sellers did not call him back. He asked if I could help him to get an appointment. Look no further than the red sparkly shoes on your feet, Dorothy. You've always had the power to go home. Just click your heels together and repeat after me: There's no place like home, there's no place like home.

I am astonished at the number of agents in Sacramento who don't know what "Call First, Lockbox" means when they read it on a listing. Some of them think it means to call the listing agent. It means you call the seller, leave a message and go. It does NOT mean you call the seller, explain who you are, talk about how long you've been in the business and offer up your professional market opinion, describe who your buyers are and their occupations, offer a plethora of showing times and options, recite 3 telephone numbers, repeat, and then wait patiently for the seller to return your phone call.

You leave a message and go.

But bring your MLS printout so you know how to disarm the security alarm, for crying out loud. I put those types of listings into pending status the minute I get an offer because, sure enough, those alarms are triggered almost every day. It's tough for a seller to decide whether to arm a security alarm but they can be assured an agent will probably set it off. I do it myself, sometimes. I'm not immune, either.

Here is a wonderful starter home in Natomas that presents a fabulous opportunity for some lucky buyer to call home. This is a Beazer home, the Reflections model, in Gateway West Village. It has 3 bedrooms and 2 baths with a centralized open floor plan. The kitchen is the focal point of the home.

It's located off Duckhorn near Saintsbury. The layout is longer than it is wider. You enter through the formal living room, and there is a formal dining area. The kitchen has tiled counters and bar seating plus a breakfast nook. The family room is toward the back yard. Two bedrooms are down one hall and the master is off another hall.

The home was built in 2000, but the sellers later added the covered brick patio in the back and landscaping. There are trees in the yard. You also get central heat and air, indoor laundry, plus an attached 2-car garage, not to mention, if your kids are elementary age -- what a terrific opportunity to teach them to spell their address! Their learning curve will be way above that of other kids.

2760 Chateau Montelena Way, Sacramento, CA 95834, is offered exclusively by Lyon Real Estate as a short sale at $169,000. For more information, call your Sacramento short sale agent. For a private showing, call Linda Swanson, at 916 607 0111.

Photos: Elizabeth Weintraub

Sometimes, I make myself laugh, and I just can't help it. It's my personality. A woman I do not know from Australia wrote to me this morning to say her husband says it's too late for them to buy a home. He's 47 and she's 41. I told her how I bought my last house at age 50 and, in fact, recently sold a short sale in Sacramento to an 84-year-old single woman -- which is what you're gonna be if you continue to listen to your husband, I added.

Another seller wrote to me to ask, in much earnest, if I was accepting new clients. No, I think I prefer to sell houses to the same client over and over until he's bankrupt.

The sellers of this new short sale in Natomas called me a couple of days ago to say I had been highly recommended by a close friend of theirs as a good real estate agent. I had sold their friend's home a month or so ago which, believe it or not, was not a short sale. They had already received the approval letter for a Bank of America Cooperative Short Sale. They had already looked at my website and read a few of my blogs. In fact, they are probably reading this blog entry right now and laughing.

The point I'm getting to is they knew I did a bang-up job for their friend. Sold her home in one weekend in a declining market. They knew I am an excellent Sacramento short sale agent as well. Yet, they said they wanted to interview other agents and wanted to know how I felt about it. I told them I could not fathom why, but they should go knock themselves out and then call me back when they're finished with wasting their time.

Here is a fully approved Bank of America Cooperative Short Sale in Natomas. A Bank of America Cooperative Short Sale means the sellers and the property and the sales price are approved. If you submit an offer at list price, and you are qualified to buy this home, your offer will be accepted in 10 days. No waiting months and months for short sale approval. Shazam. 10 days. Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.

This is a beautiful 2007 single-level Beazer home in the desirable Riverdale Homeowner's Association. This association has a gorgeous clubhouse with a gym and a resort-like pool. Your HOA fee is only $58 a month.

It has 3 bedrooms and 2 baths, plus, if you don't want to use the formal living room as a living room -- and who does these days? You can use it as a home office, which is what these sellers do. If you are looking for an open floor plan, this home has exactly what you want. The kitchen features 18-inch diagonal ceramic tile, cherrywood cabinets, ceramic counters and stainless GE Profile appliances. The oven is conventional and convection. There is a gas cooktop.

The kitchen overlooks the family room and the dining area. There is a ceiling fan in the family room and a gas fireplace. Somebody had common sense when installing flooring in this home because the area right before the exit to the patio is ceramic tile, just like the front entrance. The back yard sports an enclosed uncovered patio, which is semi-private.

One of the unique features of this home that you are sure to love is the fact the two-car garage is located at the rear by the patio. It backs up to a cul-de-sac, with a very pretty view.

2712 San Juan Road, Sacramento, CA 95833, is offered exclusively by Lyon Real Estate as an approved Cooperative Short Sale at $144,200. For more information, call your Sacramento short sale agent, Elizabeth Weintraub, at 916 233 6759. For a private showing, call Barbara Dow at 916 761 7398. This delightful home will also be held open on Sunday, July 17, from 11 AM to 2 PM.

Click here to watch a virtual tour of 2712 San Juan Road.

Photos: Elizabeth Weintraub / Yancey

I recall a dinner I attended and planned for sales reps from Linotype-Hell in Minneapolis some 20 years ago. Reps came from all over the Midwest. One of them was Bud -- from Iowa. Bud was a big guy who wore plaid shirts, a meat-and-potatoes-and-corn kinda man. The first course was an appetizer. Scallops. Two large scallops. Served on a big plate. Bud looked down at his plate and then glared at me: "Where's my dinner?" he asked.

Last night my husband and I had dinner at one of our favorite outdoor dining spots in Midtown Sacramento, Lounge on 20. I like the vibe at this place. It was so crowded we almost didn't get a spot outside. The trick is to get there about 7 PM, right when the happy-hour crowd is leaving to go wherever happy and half-drunk people go at that time of evening. Maybe to Target. Maybe back to the Capitol garage with bicycle cops hot on their tail.

I ordered a hamachi appetizer, which was about the size of a boiled egg. A beet salad, which consisted of a row of 5 or 6 tiny beets -- I mean tiny, like the size of a thimble. And my main entree, which was day boat scallops. The scallops arrived on a large plate, and there were two of them. Smaller than a lime. Not large, in other words.

For $17. Two scallops. I got Bud's appetizer for dinner!

We try to go out and celebrate on Fridays, especially if I've had a good week. This week I closed another short sale in Natomas. The seller said she had talked with me several years ago but made the mistake of hiring instead some other Sacramento short sale agent. That agent could not perform. Oh, well. Not every agent can sell a short sale. The seller had a sticky situation, too, involving mortgage insurance.

I hear this a lot. They hire an agent who claimed to be a short sale agent but wasn't. It's OK. Sellers can come to me even if they initially hired some buddy or relative or referral from an ex-husband, whatever, and those agents eventually fall down on the job. I don't hold it against sellers because they have their own reasons for making what I might believe are the wrong decisions, but that's their choice to make.

Not only did I sell and close this short sale, but I sold it to a VA buyer who was represented by an excellent buyer's agent. Not very many short sales are sold to buyers getting a VA loan because they can be very tricky to do. I also sold this for $10,000 less than the bank previously demanded. And it was a Wells Fargo short sale.

Earlier in the day yesterday, I drove over to remove the lockbox. It was about 3 PM in the afternoon. As I turned the corner into this Natomas subdivision, I noticed sprinklers were going off. On everybody's front lawn. Eight or 10 homes had sprinklers running in the front yard in the middle of a hot afternoon in Sacramento. How is this even possible? These homes are not in an HOA.

Sacramento is an interesting place to live. We can't seem to get a balanced budget, Midtown restaurants give you 2 scallops for dinner, and we don't yet have water meters. But those Sacramento short sales are closing!

Sometimes you can change your viewpoint depending on where you sit. Think back to grade school, for example. When the class monitor was called, it was probably done alphabetically, which means the kids with a last name starting with A were called first. Being from the Midwest, there were always a lot of Andersons in my classes. But I did not want a last name that started with an A. Know why?

Because the A's were the examples, the guinea pigs, the experiments. If you don't know what is going to happen, it means you have an opportunity to mess up. As a kid, it's generally much better to watch the group before you so you know how to appropriately behave because you know what's expected. It's much better to be in the B's than to be in the W's, like I am now. Now, I'm always last. But it beats being first and a possible fool. Pioneers get arrows in their backs, an old friend used to say.

These sellers of a Natomas short sale bought their home as others were being built around them. They were pioneers. Oh, there was going to be an elementary school built down the road and a park over there. Today, you look out of the second-floor window and you get a view of the downtown Sacramento skyline off in the distance. These sellers would rather have had homes built behind them than enjoy a fabulous view.

But from my viewpoint, the open space is beautiful. Not to mention, no noisy neighbors behind. It all depends on how you look at it. There might not be anything built behind this home for years and years. I see that as a benefit. Plus, this home is tucked into a second row of development, so it's shielded from the street. It's also built on a higher elevation than the other homes around it.

It's four years new, built by Kimball Hill and about 2,200 square feet. If you know this Kimball Hill Villages subdivision in North Natomas, this is the Ellesmere model. Watch the video. There is a den on the first floor that could be turned into a bedroom, if you were so inclined. Three bedrooms and two baths upstairs, with a half bath down. Formal living room with soaring ceilings and open to the second floor. Cozy family room with a fireplace is part of the great room concept, combining the kitchen and dining with family entertainment. Granite in the kitchen.

171 Caravaggio Circle, Sacramento, CA 95835, is offered exclusively by Lyon Real Estate as a short sale at $195,000. For more information, call your Sacramento short sale agent, Elizabeth Weintraub, at 916 233 6759. For a private showing, call Barbara Dow at 916 761 7398.

Photos: Elizabeth Weintraub, view from second floor above

What is wrong with the world? What is wrong with people? Those are fundamental questions that many of us ask every day, especially those of us who call ourselves a Sacramento short sale agent. Two things I want to say about this. The first is a seller in Land Park emailed me yesterday because he received a nasty anonymous letter. No return address in a plain white envelope addressed to him personally. It was about the For Sale sign in his yard.

You know who can find the name of a seller very easily? Any subscribor to MLS. Any real estate agent can find out who owns a property through MLS. Was it a Coldwell Banker agent? A Dunnigan agent? A Century 21 agent? I don't know. I don't even know if it was an agent but it looks suspicious, and I suggested he file a police report.

The second thing is there is a new film opening at the Crest Theatre today in downtown Sacramento, which is touted as a movie that everybody should see. It's playing at noon, 2:45, 5:30 and 8:15 PM today through Sunday. Monday through Thursday, you can catch a 5:30 or 8:15 show. It's called I AM. It talks about what is wrong with the world and ends up discussing what is right with the world. Did you know that in Aboriginal culture, cooperation is favored and competition is seen as mental illness? Hence, that letter about the sign.

Something else to ponder today -- is it better to buy a short sale home in Elk Grove or in Natomas? I get asked that question a lot. For many people who prefer Natomas, it's because the community is closer to downtown, notwithstanding the Crest Theatre. It takes about 12 minutes to drive downtown from central Natomas.

Here is a short sale home in Natomas. If you've been on the fence between buying a condo or a single family home, this might be the place for you. It combines the best of both but gives you a lot more space. The yard is small, granted, just a covered patio maybe 10-feet wide, pretty maintenance free.

But the home itself sits on the street, around the corner from the main entrance, and it is not located back inside the alleys, so it feels very much like a spacious home inside. It's near Regency Park and Club Center in a PUD development built in 2004.

This home has almost 1,900 square feet and is a 2-story. It's an open floor plan on the first floor. The kitchen boasts oversized ceramic on the floor, granite counters and all the stainless appliances stay, including the black LG refrigerator. The kitchen, dining and living room form a great room concept. But an added surprise is a first-floor bedroom, which no other model has.

The laundry is upstairs in a separate room with cabinets, and the washer and dryer stay. If you want personal appliances, btw, you have to ask for them in the purchase contract or the seller can remove them prior to close of escrow. There is a large master suite with a beautiful master bath and 2 more bedrooms, plus another guest bath. All together, 4 bedrooms and 3 baths. Plus, of course, a 2-car attached garage facing the side.

140 Natalino Circle, Sacramento, CA 95835, is exclusively offered by Lyon Real Estate as a short sale at $199,000. For more information, call your Sacramento short sale agent, Elizabeth Weintraub, at 916 233 6759. For a personal showing, call Barbara Dow at 916 761 7398.

Photos: Elizabeth Weintraub

While the California Housing Financing Agency is adjusting its Keep Your Home California program by now letting those homeowners who have refinanced or taken out loans originating after 2009 to apply, you sort of the get the idea that CalHFA is having a hard time finding anybody who really wants to keep a underwater home. They say more than 2,000 are receiving help but they don't say how many have been approved for the program. And you know they wouldn't extend the program to loans after 2009 if they had enough applications for loans prior to 2009.

Sort of seems that perhaps, and I'm just throwing it out there, that people who need assistance to keep their homes are those whose homes are not underwater and not in the process of qualifying for a short sale. And maybe there aren't too many of those types of homeowners who need assistance outside of that arena.

Here is a short sale in Natomas. If you work downtown and want a short commute, this drive would be about 10 minutes. It's a great home for young professionals or an investor. This home is a halfplex that sits on the corner in a L-shape. The other half wraps around and faces another street, so it's very much like a single family home.

It has 2 bedrooms and 2 baths, plus an attached 2-car garage with laundry. It was built in 1987. The kitchen is open and it has tiled counters, a ceramic floor, a dishwasher, stove and refrigerator. There are laminate floors in the living room and dining room, plus a brick fireplace.

You'll find two exterior access points to the yard, one from the living room to the front yard and sliding doors in the master to a side yard. The front yard is fenced, and it has a gated patio area. Good sized rooms, attractive paint colors. Pretty much move-in condition.

1911 Bandon Way, Sacramento, CA 95833 is exclusively offered by Lyon Real Estate as a short sale at $89,000. For more information, call your Sacramento short sale agent, Elizabeth Weintraub, at 916 233 6759. For a private showing, call Barbara Dow at 916 761 7398.

Photos: C. Laver

Another Sacramento short sale seller emailed me yesterday, asking if Moi was interested in taking his listing. He didn't give his address, just his name. Being the resourceful person that I am, I checked him out before I called him. I asked what he was planning to do with the underwater home he owned in Natomas, since that wasn't the property he called me about, and was he aware that the home in Rancho Cordova had hard-money loans that looked to be rate and term? Oh, and btw, is he upset with his agent because the home had been on the market for 6 months already? Why hasn't he received any offers?

I freaked him out. He wanted to know how I knew all of that when all he said was he owned a home in Rancho Cordova. Like I said, I'm resourceful. It's part of what makes me a good Sacramento short sale agent.

And here is a short sale home you'll love because it's so darned affordable. It's probably one of the most affordable neighborhoods in Natomas, sitting just south of Elkhorn and East of Bridgecross. These homes are like a collection of Carmel homes, attractive and there was some thought that went into building them. This home sits in one of the best locations, against the back of the subdivision by open fields, so little through traffic.

This Northpointe Natomas home has 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, and it was built in 2003. It has ceramic tile floors, along with wood-like laminate and carpeting. The kitchen is open to the family room, turning that space into a great room concept. There is a fireplace in the family room.

You'll find ceiling fans, dual pane windows and a tile roof. There is also a two-car attached garage that faces the front, with a garage door opener. If you've always wanted to live in a newer home in Natomas, this is your chance to buy a home without an HOA in a nice location.

1825 Zurlo Way, Sacramento, CA 95835, is offered exclusively as a short sale by Lyon Real Estate at $145,000. For more information, call your Sacramento short sale agent, Elizabeth Weintraub, at 916 233 6759. For a private showing, call Linda Swanson at 916 607 0111.

Photos: Linda Swanson

A seller mentioned to me the other day that she did not want any potential buyers for her home to know what she looks like. Not that there's anything wrong with her appearance, mind you. This seller is an attractive and friendly person. But the reason she wants to leave the house long before a buyer arrives for a showing is because she met the sellers when she bought the house. And she didn't like them. Come to think of it, my husband didn't like the sellers of our house, either. Because they were frying bacon in the kitchen when we got there.

We are judgmental human beings. It's in our genes, I suppose. We might not mean to judge other people based on superfluous information, but the fact is we do. Whether we have a valid basis, we constantly size up new people and form first impressions. You may never know the criteria a buyer may use to justify rejecting a property.  While I'm not saying this seller should throw on a burqa to go grocery shopping, I understand her point of view.

She's right. Sellers and buyers should not meet each other during the home courtship stage. Let the home do the mating dance and leave the people out of it.

Here is a home in Natomas in which the buyers and sellers will never meet. Not even by accident. So, buyers are free to imagine whether they will use part of the gigantic living room as a dining room or if a dining room is of no use to them because they'd rather eat in the kitchen. People seem to be moving away from hosting formal dinner parties and many no longer utilize a dining room. In fact, some living rooms are useless as well. These rooms often serve the same purpose as the interior courtyards of Pompeii -- attractive parts of the home that one passes through to get to the living area but a part of the home that is never occupied.

This Creekside Village home was built by D. R. Horton in 2002 and boasts 2,668 square feet. The reason a buyer might not use the dining room is because there is a huge eat-in space in the kitchen, which overlooks the back yard and is open to the family room. Most family rooms are where the action is. You're close to your family members, the TV and the refrigerator -- what else do you want? This family room has a fireplace, a built-in media center and is wired for surround sound.

Probably the best selling feature is its 5 bedrooms plus a big bonus room. Families with children may use the bonus room as a play area, but it could serve also as a workout room for a single person. You could put a lot of gym equipment in that space. Or maybe a pool table.

You'll find that highly coveted first-floor bedroom, which has an amazingly big walk-in closet. Plus, 3 full baths, one downstairs and two upstairs. The kitchen features black granite counters, an island, a built-in microwave and dishwasher, plus a free-standing Kenmore gas range. There is a frosted door on the pantry closet. The entire first floor, except for the bath, has beautiful Wilsonart laminate flooring. Great for people with pets or allergies, or for someone like me who dislikes vacuuming.

2921 N Platte Way, Sacramento, CA 95835 is offered exclusively by Lyon Real Estate as a short sale at $250,000. For more information, call your Sacramento short sale agent, Elizabeth Weintraub, at 916 233 6759.

Photos: Elizabeth Weintraub