Club Chaos Agents - All Things Hollish, Wacked, and Jacked

Sometimes I wonder if I'm no better than a Labrador. I might be subject to labrador attention deficit disorder. You know how a dog's attention can suddenly be diverted, right? You're playing with the dog, tossing a ball, when SQUIRREL. The dog's head jerks in the direction of the squirrel, ears up, and you're no longer important.

I am usually working on 2 or 3 different projects when my daily autoprospecting email arrives in the morning around 5 AM. This is a system that shows me every listing that is emailed to my buyers. Pretty soon I'm clicking on the new listings, looking at photos, analyzing the locations, and an hour has gone by. Shiny new listings. I get engrossed. Seduced by hardwood floors and square footage. I can't help myself.

This morning, one of my Land Park short sale listings showed up in my autoprospecting list. This is a beautiful tudor that was remodeled a few years ago. We were about 2 weeks away from short sale approval with Chase Bank when I received an email yesterday from the buyer's agent informing me the buyer was canceling due to health problems. Well, unless she's dying, I don't know why she can't buy the house, but it's not really my concern. My job is to put it back on the market and get it sold again.

The funny thing is I received an email from Chase yesterday. The negotiator said she had good news. She had complained that many of her short sale files were taking too long to approve. So, Chase is now allowing management to approve short sales. The negotiator had 8 on her list that have been sitting since January and now her manager plans to approve all 8, including this one. She promised to send a response in a few days. And now we have no buyer. This is the way life works, though. Yin and yang.

Because the offer we submitted to the bank was higher than the list price of $325,000, we are changing the price in MLS today to $349,000. This is still a terrific bargain for a home in Land Park that last sold for more than $500,000. Ordinarily, if the bank had a problem with the price, I would have heard about it by now. This is a 3 bedroom, 2 bath, built in 1926. It has wood floors, an updated kitchen with granite counters and breakfast nook, remodeled baths, plus a formal dining room with built-ins. There is a partial basement, attic and a bonus room off the garage. It has newer AC and a very pretty covered patio for entertaining.

1000 Fremont Way, Sacramento, CA 95818, offered exclusively by Lyon Real Estate as a short sale at $349,000. MLS #90085352.

Call your Land Park agent, Elizabeth Weintraub, for more information at 916 233 6759.

Photos: Big Stock Photo and Elizabeth Weintraub

Lyon Real Estate always puts on a great annual awards ceremony. Even during a time when many real estate brokerages are hurting financially, closing up their doors, Lyon still takes care of its agents. Granted, yesterday's awards ceremony was not on par with the Cirque du Soleil act we enjoyed a few years ago, but it was still enjoyable.

They opened the presentations with a video, based on our theme of Winter Olympics. The Olympic flame was passed from one office to another, and we got to see our office mangers prancing through cubicles and running down sidewalks carrying a flaming torch. I didn't know every manager, but then I believe we have 15 branch offices in the Sacramento area. When the video finished, Lyon Real Estate's CEO Mike Lyon and President Jean Li entered the ballroom of the Radisson, arms held high, each clutching a flaming torch. They ran the perimeter, sprinted up the podium and lit the bowl on fire.

While everybody was laughing and applauding, I was wondering where in the world do you find a flaming torch? I mean, is there a store that sells Olympic torches? Or do you have make your own? What if you accidentally set something on fire? We have a very creative marketing team at Lyon Real Estate.

Then the awards ceremony began. Shortly after he handed out a few awards, Mike Lyon surprised the crap out of me. He said the next award was Best Improved Overall, #1 in Closed Units. It was given to the agent whose closed transactions in 2009 most improved over 2008. Now, 2008 was a tough year for many agents. The number on the screen showed that this agent had closed 19 transactions in 2008. I heard agents gasp. I guess that's a good number when you figure that about 85% of all the agents in Sacramento don't even close one transaction every two months, or 6 a year.

However, when I saw the number on the next screen, my heart skipped a beat. It said this agent had closed 43.5 transactions in 2009. Were they talking about me? I figured that I would rank high in the company, but I had no idea that I would be awarded Best Improved Overall, #1 in Closed Units. They keep this stuff a secret until the awards ceremony. But there was my name on the screen. OK, I am so NOT going to cry. Besides, this isn't the Oscars. (Hey, there's a theme for next year.) Do not cry, do not cry. Somehow, I made it up and back to my seat. No tears.

I also picked up an award for ranking in the Top 10% of all Lyon Real Estate agents. That brings my total awards to three for 2009. Gosh, the way 2010 is going, I imagine I'll rank even higher for this year. I wonder if all of this hoopla matters to the public? Probably not. I think buyers and sellers of homes in Land Park and those short sale sellers throughout Sacramento simply care that their agent is efficient, honest and gets the job done.

So, I grabbed my awards and sneaked out the back door. After all, I had a closing for a home in Land Park in an hour. Better put my nose back to the grindstone. Party over.

Photos: Best Overall Improved, #1 Closed Units in 2009, Lyon Real Estate, Elizabeth Weintraub, by Adam Weintraub.

Top 10% at Lyon Real Estate in 2009, Elizabeth Weintraub, by Adam Weintraub

The last time I won a third-place prize, I was probably about eight. Somewhere, I have an old newspaper. My mother was an editor in the 1950s at the Circulating Pines, which was a local newspaper in a suburb of Minneapolis. She put a story and a photo of my brother and me on the front page. I am holding in my lap a long-haired black cat named Spittsboo, sitting on the front steps of our childhood home in Circle Pines, Minnesota, next to my brother. He is holding a salamander on his shoulder.

I placed third in a pet contest. Well, it was actually my cat, not me, who placed third in a division for longest-haired cat. My cat didn't have to do anything except sit there to win. My brother's salamander won first place in the reptile division. That lizard didn't have to do back flips or jump through a flaming hoop of fire to win, either. I'm pretty sure the thing just sat on my brother's shoulder.

I mention this because yesterday I was given an office award at my office meeting for ranking among the top 3 agents in sales for 2009. My office in Midtown Sacramento has 80 or 90-some real estate agents. I didn't enter this contest. It's something that Lyon Real Estate does. It recognizes its top producers every year. My sales production generally ranks among the top 15 agents in my office -- some kind of benchmark Lyon uses -- but since I don't rate myself by comparing myself to other agents, I never really paid much attention to which agent wins what award.

So, it was a surprise when my name was announced and I was handed the award. I considered not writing about it because lots of agents in my office and elsewhere in Sacramento did not fare very well last year. It was a down year for many real estate agents. The market in 2009, like the past 4 years, was dominated by foreclosures, short sales, investors and first-time home buyers, which left a lot of agents out in the cold. The Internet also pushed some agents out of the business because they refused to embrace online technology.

While it is painful to see agents who are suffering, I've decided that my empathy for them should not overshadow the fact I enjoyed an outstanding year in 2009. It's quite an honor to receive such an award. On the other hand, I didn't compete for it or enter a contest. I just did my job, which is primarily selling homes in Land Park and representing sellers of Sacramento short sales.

This afternoon, Lyon Real Estate is hosting its Annual Awards Ceremony at the Radisson. The theme is . . . dum, dum, dum . . . The Winter Olympics. My office is supposed to represent Cross Country Skiing. I guess I could wear a mink hat and go as a spectator. No, on second thought, I should probably wear a wool hat and some sort of spandexy outfit, which I don't have in my wardrobe. I'm likely to win something at this awards ceremony, but it's been hush-hush, like our office awards. I don't want to appear ungrateful, but I am not planning to dress up like an Olympic athlete. But hey, it doesn't mean that I don't support those who do or that I am not a team player.

Hmmm, on reflection . . . maybe it does.

Oh, well. Rebels make good real estate agents, don't you think? We buck the system. Write our own rules. We're independent and don't blend well into the shadows.

After the awards ceremony, I am meeting a buyer who is closing on a home in Land Park. We're going to sign loan docs at my office and complete our final walk-through. At least my hair won't be messed up from wearing a wool hat.

Photo: Adam Weintraub

The problem for gardeners who live in places like Minneapolis is they are pretty much limited to pursuing their passion for only a few months out of the year. My love of gardening is one of the reasons I bought a home in Land Park, Sacramento, all those years ago. Living in Land Park means I don't have to grow seedlings on my dining room table for 12 weeks nor ruin the surface of said table. (Note to self: I still need to buy a new dining room table.) Living in Land Park means I can, for example, plant peas directly into the ground. Spring starts in February in Sacramento.

Hyacinths are one of the first signs of spring. When I lived in Minneapolis, it used to give my heart a glimmer of hope, spotting hyacinths emerging through the snow, poking up their little heads after a long, cold and harsh winter. Hope that spring would eventually arrive in another 3 to 4 months. A spring hyacinth was a sign that winter was coming to an end.

I planted hyacinths in our Land Park gardens when we moved here. Some of you may recall the blog about replacing my lawn in Land Park. We tore out the rose garden last fall when we laid our new sod and planted a maple tree in place of the garden. However, I do not distinctly recall having a conversation with the landscaping guys about the flower bulbs that were planted in that garden bed. You know where I'm going with this, right?

Yup, hyacinths are coming up in the middle of our lawn! The landscaping guys have mowed right over them. I noticed them when I hauled our trash cans out to the curb late yesterday afternoon. And that's not the worst part. The worst part is there were more bulbs in that garden. Some were planted deeper than the landscaping guys were probably digging. I haven't seen the tulips yet, but I bet the gladioli will poke through the lawn in July. Yikes.

As I yakked with callers on my Bluetooth, I grabbed a spade and started digging. In no time, my knees were soggy from the wet lawn. My fingernails had dirt under them, and I chipped my polish. Other Land Park agents wonder how I get so many things done while working all the time. This is how. Sometimes, I multitask.

Photo: Big Stock Photo

Whenever I leave the comfort of my home-based office, I try to plan my driving route to incorporate stops along the way so I can maximize my time. For example, if I need to drop off dry cleaning, I'll do it on my way to my midtown Lyon Real Estate office, rather than make a separate trip to the dry cleaners. That explains why I never have anything to wear.

Because I had to drive out the 99 freeway yesterday to put a lockbox on another Elk Grove short sale listing, I figured I'd stop at a few furniture stores on my way back to look at bedroom furniture. I'm still on a quest for a new bed and dresser. I know exactly what I want, the dimensions, type of color and finish, style, even down to the type of construction.

I walked into Signature, which took over the space on 55th that was previously occupied by Levitz. Like most furniture stores, the cheaper stuff is at the front, and the quality stuff is on display at the back. I found a halfway decent bedroom set at the very back and tracked down a salesperson to ask for the dimensions. He couldn't tell me. His answer was, "If it doesn't fit, I'll take it back." His focus was on selling me and he wasn't listening.

Next, I went to Beck's. Walked all the aisles and finally stopped a salesperson who walked right by me without making eye contact. She asked who greeted me at the front door. Why, nobody. I explained what I was looking for, and while she was very polite and nice, she didn't know her product line.

Further up the road at American Furniture Galleries, a salesperson said hello when I walked in the door. He grabbed a tape measure so he could figure out the width of his dressers. I was surprised that he didn't know the dimensions of his inventory. He showed me expresso finishes when I told him I wanted brown cherry. Finally, he handed me the tape measure and wandered off.

OK, so I'll go downtown to Macy's. The first salesperson did not know the difference between an Eastern King and a California King bed. He became frustrated and suggested I pick out what I wanted, and he'd write it up. I wanted to buy two pieces of furniture that would fit in a specific space along my wall. I spied another salesperson and approached him. I explained my dilemma. He listened. Showed me a set that would fit. Explained why it would fit. He even looked up compatible pieces that were discontinued on his computer.

All of this made me realize how frustrated some Sacramento home buyers must feel while they are out homebuying. Especially those buyers who know exactly what they want. Some real estate agents tell buyers to look at online listings and to let the agent know when a home suits their fancy. Are we guilty of throwing inventory at home buyers, expecting them to come back to us when they're ready to buy and we'll write it up? Are we order takers?

Or do we listen to our home buyers' wants and needs and try to find that perfect home for them? Do we research the background and history of that home so our buyers can make an informed decision? Or do we tell them that after it closes, if they don't like it, we'll sell it again for them?

I have the ability to fine-tune MLS searches for my buyers. For example, if they want to look at homes in Land Park, in a very specific neighborhood, I can manually draw a map search for them based on street boundaries. I can narrow the search based on certain criteria, say, by sending only those listings within that neighborhood that have 2 baths, a fireplace and hardwood floors. If a buyer prefers a one-story home, I'm certainly not going to show the buyer two-story homes.

After I spend a few hours showing homes, I have extracted so much information from my buyers that if they haven't found a home they like during our first tour, I now know exactly what type of home they want. I can see it in my mind and spot it when I find it in MLS. I search through inventory for them. I email my thoughts on new listings to my actively searching buyers. We talk. Interact. And they find their dream homes.

But, boy, do I feel sorry for them when they go furniture shopping.

Photo: Big Stock Photo

For as long as I can remember, people have said that I intimidate them when meeting me for the first time. That kind of reaction is a bit puzzling to me. I mean, I'm no Darth Vader. I'm not a particularly threatening type of person in stature or appearance. People at the post office don't cross their forefingers and fall to the ground when they see me coming. Yet, I hear over and over that when people get to know me, their initial impression of me changes. I go from being threatening to gregarious, friendly and caring.

A Sacramento home buyer called yesterday to ask if I would help her. She had read my blogs on LandParkBlog.com and said she called me because I appear "competent without being arrogant and have a sense of humor." She also believed that I could very aggressive if the situation warranted it. She didn't feel intimidated, which was good.

Unfortunately, I had to refer this buyer to another agent because she was interested in buying a probate that required court confirmation, and that's an area in which I have no experience. I believe clients deserve an agent with expertise. I specialize in listing and selling homes in Land Park, Midtown, Curtis Park and East Sacramento. Moreover, as a Sacramento short sale agent, I successfully close short sales from El Dorado Hills to Elk Grove and Galt. But, even with my 30-plus years in the real estate business, I know very little about probate sales.

If I had to pick the one thing about me that seems to intimidate people, though, I'd say it must be the confidence that I project. I can't think of any other aspect of my personality that would frighten people. I'm direct. I say what I mean. Lots of people aren't direct. In retrospect, maybe that's why so many of my clients are lawyers. I'm not afraid of lawyers. In fact, I love working with lawyers.

I told a lawyer the other day that the homes she seemed interested in buying were homes priced above her comfort level, and the homes she didn't like were priced at her comfort level, and asked if that was a correct assessment. She said no, thought about it, and then raised the price of her comfort level. I don't tell people what to do; I guide clients to make a decision that is right for them. That's my job.

See, I don't believe there is anything wrong with exuding confidence. If some people find a person with confidence scary, maybe that fear comes about because confidence is a trait that is missing in their own personalities. To me, confidence is about knowing your own boundaries, limitations, and not being afraid to exceed them, even at the risk of failure. What do you think?

Photo: Big Stock Photo

What I probably need is a personal shopper. See, I no longer clean my house, do laundry, grocery shop, prepare meals, mow the lawn, weed or water the gardens, run to Target, pay the bills -- those chores are done for me. And, it's actually a bit inconvenient that I have to put gas in my car myself. I wish we would go back to the concept of full-service gas stations.

I utilize almost every waking moment of my day focused on my hobby, er, occupation. I specialize in selling older, classic homes in Land Park, East Sacramento, Curtis Park and Midtown. That alone is enough to eat up 50% of my day. The other 40% is spent on being a Sacramento short sale agent, leaving me 10% to answer email, write blogs and articles.

Because I'm otherwise preoccupied with my real estate business, I don't always notice things right away when they fall apart around the house. For example, I need a new dresser. I spilled perfume once on top of it and somehow plopped a magazine on that spot, which left a big red square on the surface. The sliders on the bottom of some of the drawers are broken, which means those drawers don't pull out horizontally. The brass drawer knobs and pulls are weathered. The mirror has a big chip in the corner.

You'd think it would be easy to find a new dresser, right? In between showing property and doing home inspections, I hauled my husband to Macy's this weekend to pick out a new area rug for our living room. While we were at the Sacramento Downtown Plaza, I looked at dressers, shot a few photos, scribbled down measurements. After I came home and measured the wall space between the windows in our bedroom, I realized none of those dressers would fit in that space, which is shared with our bed.

However, if I bought a new headboard for the bed, one that didn't extend four inches beyond both sides of the bed, I could buy a bigger dresser. And, of course, that led to the realization that if we had a footboard on the bed, our duvet cover would not slide off onto the floor every night. That is a major irritation. So, I may as well buy a whole new bed. My husband doesn't understand how this works. He knows only that when I set out to change something in the house, it's never a minor fix.

Not only do I have space limitations on that wall, but the design and finish of the bed and dresser should coordinate with the rest of the furniture in the bedroom, which is fairly new but, of course, discontinued. Now, my husband would be happy sleeping on a cot in the corner. He doesn't care if our furniture matches. Utilitarian function is his main concern. If you can sit on it, sleep on it or eat over it, he's content. To him, it doesn't matter if the furniture is dinged, gouged, weathered, chipped or standing on its last legs, about to disintegrate beneath him. Thank goodness he has me in his life to improve his quality of existence.

Since I don't have any time in my day to run all over Sacramento looking at furniture, I am forced to search online. But even that is time consuming. And some websites don't list dimensions. It's possible that I may not find a new bed and dresser.

The answer, of course, to many people, is to buy a new house. But I'm never going to sell my husband on that idea, so I guess I'll continue to live with the fact that my dresser drawers routinely fall off the tracks. Sometimes, it's simply easier to change your attitude and go with the flow.

Before I show homes in Land Park or anywhere in Sacramento, I contact the listing agent to find out more information about the home. That's because I treat each visit as though this is the home my buyer will purchase. I figure why would I show a home to a buyer that won't work for some reason? Just because a home is offered for sale in MLS doesn't mean it's available or that it fits my buyers' agenda.

Sometimes listing agents don't respond to emails, text messages or phone calls, and I often do all three. Most likely the unresponsiveness is because, unlike me, some listing agents actually have a life. They could be out-of-town for the weekend, dealing with a family emergency or otherwise engaged in something apart from buying and selling real estate.

One of the homes my buyers asked to see yesterday was listed as a short sale. The first red flag I noticed was the listing agent worked for a mortgage company. The agent / mortgage broker combination can be a recipe for disaster because often the main source of that agent's income comes from mortgages and not from real estate. It's hard to wear 2 hats and be a specialist in both. If a mortgage broker's focus is selling loans to customers, that mortgage broker may know very little about the intricate workings of the real estate industry from a real estate agent's point of view.

Although I had no information to give the buyers about this particular home, I showed it to them anyway because the buyers wanted to see it. The seller was home when we arrived and stayed inside the house for the entire tour. If I wanted to find out whether this home would qualify as a short sale, the seller could be a valuable source of information. The problem was I am not allowed to grill the seller. In fact, according to the REALTOR Code of Ethics, I can't interfere at all with another agent's client.

It wasn't like I could say, "Hey, do you know if you qualify for a short sale?" But I could find out by engaging in casual conversation. The seller was pretty chatty as she followed us and showed us around. I find that if you gently lead and listen, especially when people are talkative, they'll tell you all sorts of interesting stuff. Here is how I found out everything I needed to know without asking a single question or prying into the sellers' financial affairs.

Me: "You've got a lot of packing to do," noticing the boxes and piles of belongings scattered throughout. I wanted to find out where they were moving. Maybe it was out of state due to a job transfer. A job transfer could qualify for a short sale.

Seller: "Yup, we're moving to Rocklin to be in that school district."

Me: "Homes in Rocklin are more affordable than homes in Land Park."

Seller: "Well, we can't decide if we want to buy a new home or an older home." Hmmm . . . they weren't planning on renting.

Me: "Rocklin is a long way to drive for work." I wanted to know whether they were employed.

Seller: "Oh, my husband works for XYZ and I work for ABC; so it's not that far, and it's worth it for the school district."

This situation was most likely not a short sale. Unless those sellers could qualify to own 2 homes at the same time, a lender will not make a loan. If the sellers can't get a loan to buy another home, they are not buying a home in Rocklin. Obtaining a mortgage requires an upfront cash down payment. With an FHA loan, it's 3.5% of the sales price.

Since many short sales may involve a seller contribution, especially for sellers with disposable income, the short sale bank might want to get its hands on the sellers' bank account. Of course, it's always possible that the sellers' parents could buy them a new home.

However, due to the fact that they both have jobs -- employment that doesn't involve state furloughs or loss of income -- it's highly unlikely the bank will approve this particular short sale. What we have in this situation, I surmised, is an agent / mortgage broker who thought, "Wow, these sellers are upside-down. I should list this as a Sacramento short sale. Commission on the listing side, commission when they buy in Rocklin, plus a commission for putting together the loan. Bonanza!"

Owing more than a home is worth is not enough to qualify for a short sale. As a Sacramento short sale agent, I'm in the business of closing Sacramento short sales. I don't want my buyers sitting in escrow for 3 months only to discover that the bank rejected the short sale.

I'm one of those rare people who still subscribe to the morning newspaper. In my case, it's the Sacramento Bee. I pick up the paper from my front porch every morning, shake off the icky bugs and toss the paper on the breakfast table. Today's headline was obscured due to the way the paper was rolled. Out of the corner of my eye, I read President Obama Turns to Facebook. My immediate reaction to this startling news was: Who gives a crap?

But then I realized how absurd. Of course, the headline actually read: President Obama Turns to The Pocketbook. But the fact that for one tiny moment, I actually thought Obama might post his State of the Union address via Facebook was a little bit disturbing. Tells me that some of us are a bit too wrapped up in social media, present company excluded.

Apart from participating in Active Rain now and then, I have precious little time for social media. I'm way too busy multi-tasking. I admit to sometimes answering emails while I talk on my cellphone. In fact, when I'm not out showing homes in Land Park or taking short sale listings in Sacramento, I work on 2 computers simultaneously throughout the day. I'm hooked to Bluetooth, but when I'm without cellphone coverage for any period of time, I don't know what to do with myself. No matter what I do, I rely on technology, part of which, whether I like it or not, involves social media.

I couldn't use my cellphone for 2 1/2 hours yesterday. It was agony. That's because I was sitting in a doctor's waiting room in the lower level of U.C. Davis, and there's no reception down there. My appointment was scheduled for 10 AM, but I didn't meet with the doctor until noon. I couldn't Tweet or look up the weather in Minneapolis and, let's face it, I'm awful at BrickBreaker.

Two hours with nothing to do seemed like an eternity. I flipped through a medical equipment catalog. Hmmm . . . so, how much do stethoscopes cost? You'd be amazed. Not that much, $60 to $200. And you can order them in different colors to match your mood. A patient put down a copy of More, that magazine for women over 40. I fit that demographic. Soon I was absorbed, reading about removal of facial hair. Did you know that laser removal is the number one recommended technique? It costs $400 a pop and requires six treatments.

When I finally got to meet with the doctor, he seemed harried. I bet he multitasks, too. He read through my chart and spoke very quickly. "So, you're ready for injections," he said. That was news to me. I asked him to explain himself. He looked at his computer monitor, scrunched his eyes, and scrolled through my health history.

"Tell you what," I replied, "Why don't you tell me why you think I am here." I let him study my file on the computer while I picked up a copy of Sacramento Magazine -- why doesn't U.C. Davis offer that magazine in the waiting room? Sacramento Magazine predicts that 2010 will be known as the year of pizza and hamburgers! Two of my favorite foods.

A half hour later, I was a free dog with a relatively clean bill of health and allowed to leave the premises. Back to cellphone land. Back to listening to voicemail messages about missing garage door openers, short sale approval extensions, loan doc delays, home inspection scheduling conflicts, and buyer's agents calling to see if they can show my active contingent short sales that state in MLS no more showings. The real world. A world where it's not totally nuts to think that President Obama might have a Facebook page.

Psst. He doesn't. I checked. But the White House does have a Facebook page.

Transporting the birds from Minneapolis to Sacramento was not an easy task. The plan in the spring of 2002 was my husband would drive to Sacramento and get an apartment, while I stayed behind to sell the house. He had to immediately start a job as managing editor of the Sacramento Business Journal, a job he lost due to management changes in 2008. (He's still unemployed.)

As my husband was packing to drive across country, it dawned on me that he could take the parakeet with him. An idea he firmly resisted. It made sense because I knew I would fly to Sacramento only once during our separation, and Northwest Airlines policy would allow me to transport two birds but not three. When he refused, my eyes teared up. I said, "Fine, then I may as well open the door and let all the birds fly away."

He put the parakeet in his car.

A couple of months later, I flew out to Sacramento to look at homes in Land Park and celebrate our wedding anniversary. I put the cockatiels in a breeding box and grabbed a cab to the airport. You have to buy a ticket for pets. They don't fly free. At the ticket counter, the Northwest representative refused to sell me tickets because I didn't have a health certificate for the cockatiels.

My plane was leaving in an hour. I explained it was my wedding anniversary; I almost started to cry. I had to get on that plane and could not leave the birds at the ticket counter. I asked for a supervisor. After much discussion, Northwest gave me tickets.

Going through security was another challenge. I didn't want the birds X-rayed. I don't know what I was worried about. Maybe that it would microwave them? I was still shaken by the fact I almost didn't get on the plane. Security personnel said they would have to look down the birds' throats if I didn't put them through X-ray. The birds would bite me if I tried to touch them. I mean, you try to stuff 2 cockatiels in a breeding box. It's not easy. They went through X-ray.

Finally, settled in my seat with the birds on the floor, the plane took off down the runway. A flight attendant stopped at my seat. "What's in the box? That can't be on the floor; it must go in an overhead bin."

I smiled.

"California snakes."

She gingerly picked up the box and carefully carried it to the closet at the front of the plane.

I tell you all this because last night the birds found a new home. Capitol City Bird Society came to my home in Land Park. They are placing the birds with a new family. It was bittersweet. Of the four who left, only one was an original bird from Minneapolis. I had been searching for someone to adopt them because I haven't been a very good birdmom. I haven't bonded with the new birds. I've been too busy selling real estate over the years to pay attention to them, apart from cleaning out their cages and feeding them. It wasn't fair to them. Birds need human interaction and love.

I already miss their songs and chirping. But keeping birds in a corner of the family room only to listen to their singing isn't right. It's very quiet this morning. And weird. I have a little hole in my heart.

Photo: Elizabeth Weintraub