Club Chaos Agents - All Things Hollish, Wacked, and Jacked

My sister asked me whether I had received everything I wanted for Christmas. Then she answered her own text message with: "Of course you did; you're in Hawaii." But that's only because she did not know about the email from a buyer's agent sent on Christmas Eve and received on Christmas Day. Some gifts you can do without.

As a result, I did not pass on the information in that email to my clients. I withheld it. Sue me. They can wait to hear it today. I pride myself on my speed-of-light communication efforts but this is one example of why it's not always a good idea to immediately deliver bad news. Why ruin their holiday because some doofus agent was forced to be present at a home inspection on Christmas Eve? You think I'm joking but it was 7:30 at night on Christmas Eve!

As I explained to the agent, I don't know which had blown me away more. That an agent would actually deliver a Request for Repair demand containing a seller credit on a Sacramento short sale? Or that the agent would send it for Christmas Day delivery? Much less, who does a home inspection the night before Christmas? Not a mouse was stirring, not even a home inspector?

I have no idea why this agent did not manage the buyers' expectations. It can't really be ignorance because any buyer's agent working on a short sale is supposed to know that banks do not allow repairs nor credits to the buyer in-lieu-of repairs. That's because if there is any money available, the short sale bank wants it. Besides, this particular short sale approval letter arrived with an arm's length affidavit, which clearly states no credits and no repairs. Not to mention, I drive home that point over and over, ad nauseum. There is no excuse for this Request for Repair demand nor the seller credit.

The repairs were not even serious issues. A few loose roof tiles, moisture noted on window sills, some damaged dry wall, the thermostat malfunctioned. What home inspector takes a job on Christmas Eve? Answer: probably the inebriated who can't figure out how to turn on a furnace. I'll bet the guy didn't even check to see if the pilot light was lit. But you can be certain that these incredibly informed buyers are absolutely positive it would cost $5,000, let's say, to fix everything. Moreover, they decided to beat my sellers over the head on Christmas Day with their silly demand, to hold them hostage and threaten to cancel.

Sorry, it doesn't work that way. If you can't handle the results of a home inspection, you cancel. And then you do it again on the next short sale because A) all homes have defects and B) short sales are sold "as is."

As a Sacramento short sale agent, I see it all. The smart, capable agents and the clueless agents who are used to getting kicked in the butt by their buyers. I asked the agent to deliver a better, more reasonable request, and that I would send the documents to the sellers today. But odds are this particular buyer's agent will wait until New Year's Eve. You know, when everybody else is snuggled up, celebrating with friends and family. This buyer's agent will be typing a cancellation. It takes all kinds.

These sellers have been working on this short sale since March. They finally received short sale approval after two submission attempts, and now their buyers are flaking out on them. It's sorta par for the course. I pretty much nail buyers to the front door, but they can still cancel. Well, I do not give up. I am an excellent Sacramento short sale agent. As such, I will sell this home again. To buyers who realize the importance of hiring a competent buyer's agent who can guide them to home ownership. There are superior agents in Sacramento. You can recognize them because they're the agents with happy buyers.

If you need a single-story Elk Grove home under $200,000 with one lender that's already been approved, shoot me an email.

Here is an example of what this particular buyer's agent deserved to find in a Christmas stocking. I found it in a tide pool yesterday. It's pretty gross looking. A Hawaiian sea cucumber, by Elizabeth Weintraub:

Real stories about real Sacramento short sales brought to you by your Sacramento short sale agent, Elizabeth Weintraub. For every dragged out, convoluted, problem-child short sale in Sacramento, there are typically 2 or 3 that close with very few delays. For obvious reasons, though, those stories are not as interesting as the short sales that cause anxiety and pain.

Two Elk Grove short sales that closed the week before last went off without a hitch. We didn't have any problems with the sales prices, which is generally because we have priced the short sale correctly. Of the four that closed last week, two were smooth sailing as well. The short sale closing process generally moves along at a brisk pace because buyers are eager to get into their new home, and their agents are eager to help them.

I suspect if given a choice, a buyer's agent would prefer to not work on a Sacramento short sale. That's because they take too long to close, and therefore it takes too long for the agents to get paid. There is also a bit of uncertainty as to whether the short sale will get approved. Although, buyer's agents who work on my short sales tend not to face that dilemma.

One of my closings, another Elk Grove short sale, was a real nail biter. First, the seller had hired a lawyer about a year ago to negotiate her short sale. Do you need a lawyer for a short sale? Sometimes. Depends on the situation. All sellers should get legal and tax advice, but not every seller needs a lawyer to negotiate. Many short sale agents make an excellent short sale negotiator, providing they have experience and a hands-on willingness to tackle the job.

This short sale went on the market in October of last year. We received multiple offers and the home quickly sold. We sent the offer to the lawyer. The lawyer obtained a release of liability for the seller, and we went into escrow.  A couple weeks later, the buyers decided they would like to renegotiate the sales price with the bank. I had told the buyers no re-negotiation. No price concessions. No repairs. But that was their excuse. It was a case of cold feet, not price. They canceled.

Second set of buyers promised the moon and the stars as well. Swore up and down they would wait for short sale approval. Put their earnest money deposit into escrow. Their agent agreed to not write any more offers. The sellers decided to bypass the lawyer this time because it would cost them another fee. So, I offered to get an approval letter for them.

For no particular reason, the second set of buyers canceled. The sellers were heartbroken. There is no explaining why buyers cancel. Some receive news that their jobs are in jeopardy. Others find another home they like better. Some probably get divorced, remarried and raise 3 children during the time they wait for short sale approval.

By the time we hit our 5th set of first-time home buyers, the agents who represented these people were from out-of-area. Call me jaded, but there always seems to be an extra set of problems when the agents handling the buyers are not from around these parts. Much of the time it's because the agents are related to the buyers or they have some other really weird reason why they are not selling in their own community -- such as maybe they don't really sell real estate full-time.

In this transaction, we had 2 agents working together -- I don't know why. One of them was a mortgage broker, though, and that in itself is a big red flag. It's hard enough to specialize in mortgages -- I wouldn't in a million years expect a mortgage broker to also be proficient at selling real estate. That would be like me trying to do a mortgage. Not gonna happen. We all have our specialties, and we should stick with what we know and do best. But California law allows anybody with proper licensing to do both. Go figure.

The file was too complicated, said the second mortgage broker who took it over. Escrow told me after it closed that it was a good idea I didn't hear everything that had gone on. Well, I suspected we had the blind-leading-the-blind and a buyer who didn't have two 2 nickels to rub together, but I had faith this would close by the hair of its chinny-chin-chin. And it did. I got short sale extension. Twice from Wells Fargo. 13 months later and 5 buyers down the tubes, but by golly, we closed.

A seller hugged me yesterday when I left her home. I'm not one of those huggy-feely types, but I do reciprocate when approached. See, I recognize the stress and anxiety level of sellers in this market, especially sellers who are doing a short sale. I try to be reassuring because I believe that's an important component of being a Sacramento short sale agent. Clients come to me because they want to close their short sale and get on with their lives. It's my job to make sure that happens.

My transaction coordinator and I were talking about this yesterday. How some people do a job and their heart is not in it. They don't really care. It's just a job to do 9 to 5, and then plop down in front of the TV with a beer, remote and bag of chips. Files are case numbers. They're not living, breathing people whose lives hang in the balance, dependent on what you do.

If you don't think that lives are hanging in the balance in a short sale, then you may not know much about a short sale. Many sellers have struggled for years. Doing a short sale is not a sudden decision. It's like an albatross hanging around their neck. They hear horror stories, many of which are true, and they are afraid of facing the unknown. But I get them out of this mess. Relatively unscathed. So, I feel like I'm making a difference, too.

When I feel like I am making a difference, it makes me care even more about my job and doing a good job.

I took a couple of listings yesterday, and I am listing 4 more homes between now and Monday afternoon. If you're looking to buy a short sale in Sacramento, call me at 916 233 6759; I might have something for you. One of my new listings is a short sale in Elk Grove. I'd like to show you the photos of two boys' bedrooms. The Chicago Bulls and the Sacramento Kings. These are simply delightful spaces. If you're into sports, I can't say that I have have seen a more clever decor!

You can also see these rooms in person at 5101 Cleveland Bay Way, Elk Grove, CA 95757, offered as a short sale by your Sacramento short sale agent, Elizabeth Weintraub, at Lyon Real Estate, at $175,000. Photos: Elizabeth Weintraub

I am enjoying a learning curve with my phone. Maybe the word enjoying is the wrong word to describe this endeavor. The keyboard takes some work. I have switched back and forth between swype and the regular keyboard, turned the thing sideways to make the keys bigger, and I still am having difficulty typing on it. I've tried a stylist, but I can't carry that around with me all the time. How do people who have big fingers -- and mine are relatively small -- type on these things?

Not that I would text and drive -- but maybe I would in an emergency -- I don't know how you would do it. I could try voice activation but that rarely works for me with these automated phone systems. I can say, "I need help," and the system will say, "Did you say 'I need a herring?'" -- and I enunciate. They don't like my voice.

Of my 3 operable Bluetooth devices, only 2 of them will work with the Samsung Galaxy Droid. They are all a Jawbone. My older Jawbone works great. The ICON Jawbone works well, too. But the ERA Jawbone will not work with the Samsung Galaxy. I can get it to partially pair, but I can't get the phone to recognize it. There are days I need 2 Jawbones to deal with the flux of calls I get as a Sacramento short sale agent. So, this is a bit of a disappointment that I can't use my ERA Jawbone.

Not as disappointing as the news I had to deliver to an Elk Grove home seller yesterday. This woman contacted me out of the blue. Although most of the homes for sale in her neighborhood are foreclosures and short sales, she felt she should be able to get more for her home because it is a traditional sale. It's hard home selling among foreclosures and short sales. Then she said the comparable sales do not support her wishful sales price, and asked if a buyer would be willing to pay over the comps.

It was awful to have to tell her the truth. The truth is her home is worth what the short sales and foreclosures are worth. There are too many of them. They are the comps. You can't ignore them. And even if a buyer was stupid enough to pay more, the buyer's lender probably won't let the buyer do it. But the biggest disappointment for this woman was to learn that her home is not a traditional sale. It would be a short sale if she tried to sell it. And a Bank of America FHA short sale at that, which doesn't even utilize Equator.

Then I discovered it was for sale in MLS. It is listed for sale at many, many thousands of dollars over the comps. The commission noted for a buyer's agent is below an amount I would work for. The showing instructions are convoluted and restrictive. Is this woman serious? The price is too high, she's squeezing agents on commission and she won't show her home. The REALTOR® Code of Ethics says I can't interfere in another agent's transaction. I explained that to the seller and suggested she ask her agent all of the questions she cannot answer herself. She wasn't happy.

But I know how the Code of Ethics works. It works in a way that is interpretive. The Board of REALTORS® can decide whatever it wants. It can make sense; it cannot make sense. Have you ever read how a Board operates? As a REALTOR®, I am stuck with that process. It is Draconian law. And I'm just not going there. But you do have to wonder why an agent would take a listing like this? No wonder the public doesn't trust us.

And now for something completely different. I bring you a field of cotton. You don't see this in Sacramento. My husband is in Arkansas today. Photo: Adam Weintraub

You hear about kids breaking off relationships with each other via texting, but they have an excuse. They are clueless kids. Or their parents didn't teach them better manners. However, when we get older, and hopefully wiser, we realize that there are certain situations in which picking up the phone and making that personal call is required. It's not always appropriate to email or text.

For example, as a Sacramento short sale agent, when I receive a short sale approval letter from my seller's bank, I generally call the seller to share the news. It's a milestone. Sometimes, in the short sale business, it's a downright miracle.

I also call my sellers when escrow has closed to give them the official news: their nightmare is over. One seller told me last week it was the first time she had ever spoken to me on the phone. We had never met. I am so used to conducting my business via email, texting or voice mail that I didn't even realize that I'd never talked to her on the phone until we closed escrow.

Yesterday, an agent emailed me a cancellation for an approved short sale. No phone call. It left me wondering why. We had loan docs ordered, the home inspection completed, appraisal done, and her buyer suddenly freaked out. Surely, as a real estate professional, the agent bears some responsibility to personally explain a cancellation.

Real estate is all about relationships. But in California we deal with the prevailing and annoying motto: Dude, I flaked.

That's not how I do business. It's not OK to flake. It's not OK to avoid personal responsibility.

Here are sellers who are doing the responsible thing. They are doing a short sale instead of a foreclosure. This home is in the Sheldon Passage subdivision of Elk Grove at Camden Pointe. It has 4 bedrooms, 3 baths, and a 3-car garage.

This is a two-story, built in 1995. When you walk into this delightful home, the first thing you notice is how light and airy it is. That's due to the vaulted ceilings and extra windows. The light pours in. It makes you feel good just to sit in the kitchen and stare out at the gorgeous yard.

It's spacious and roomy but not too big at 1,918 square feet, per the assessor. If you're looking for a first-floor bedroom, look no further because you've got it. That bedroom also has exterior access to the yard. Of course, there is a family room with a fireplace, and you'll also find ceramic floors in the kitchen and a kitchen island. It has an open floor plan.

8857 Tritonia Court, Elk Grove, CA 95624, is offered exclusively as a short sale by Lyon Real Estate at $205,000. For more information, call your Sacramento short sale agent, Elizabeth Weintraub, at 916 233 6759. For a private showing, call Barbara Dow at 916 761 7398.

Photos: Elizabeth Weintraub

I wrote an article yesterday about the Upside to Buying a Short Sale. Yeah, there is a benefit, a secret benefit. In this article I disclosed part of the reason I am so successful at selling short sales Sacramento. If you have eagle eyes and will take a moment to think about what I have to say about a BPO, you will understand how to use my recipe for success. As a buyer, you may find that it works very well for you.

Part of this recipe involves figuring out how to do a BPO like a BPO agent will. I wrote, in part: "The first thing you will do is avoid looking at location or taking amenities / upgrades into consideration. You will compare a home on a busy street the same as you would a home on a quiet street. You might use comparable sales for zero-lot lines or homes that back to the freeway as a measuring tool for homes with acreage. You will not distinguish between fixers or remodeled homes."

Because for me, when a home is a fixer, for example, the most difficult part of a short sale is coming up with a price that the bank will accept. That's because banks tend to ignore condition. BPO agents either ignore condition or don't know how to account for it. Then, throw into the mix the fact that buyers submit lowball offers on fixers, regardless of pricing. Sometimes the reason a home becomes a candidate for a short sale is deferred maintenance. Such is the case with my new listing. The seller simply ran out of money to continue fixing up the home she bought as a foreclosure, and then prices plummeted:

This is yet another Elk Grove short sale. It is located in Laguna off Bond and Laguna Blvd. It is a 3-bedroom, 2-bath, and it probably will not qualify for an FHA loan. I always get asked about a Streamlined 203K, but those typically take too long to close, and they are too complicated for most bank negotiators to understand. We prefer cash or a conventional buyer. The price does not change for a cash buyer because, believe it or not, cash is not as king-like as you may suspect. I play no Game of Thrones.

You will find no carpeting in this home. All the flooring has been replaced, according to the seller. Most of the floors are an upper-end laminate imitation wood. They look pretty good for a laminate. The kitchen and entry are slate. But it's a polished slate, and the same tile is used around the family room fireplace.

There is an empty spot in the kitchen cabinets that used to house a dishwasher. The cabinets are also missing a small drawer. They are oak and, if it were me, I would replace them. The refrigerator stays.

The HVAC is broken or at least the AC doesn't work. This is probably the original unit as the home was built in 1994. But you might be able to squeeze another 5 years or so out of the unit. The seller had already started remodeling the baths by installing Italian free-standing vanities, but they still need paint and probably new flooring as well.

All of the repairs were taken into consideration when pricing this home. It was once flooded from a backed-up sewer, the seller said. The back yard is very pretty. It features a covered patio (on top of which is a balcony for the master suite), and a pond with a waterfall.

9522 Village Tree Drive, Elk Grove, CA 95758 is offered exclusively by Lyon Real Estate as a short sale at $162,000. For more information, call your Elk Grove short sale agent, Elizabeth Weintraub, at 916 233 6759. For a private showing, call Linda Swanson at 916 607 0111.

Photos: Elizabeth Weintraub

Would you live your life differently if you knew that every day was an important day in history and not just some other day? Because the choices you make today affect what you will do down the road. You have a choice in the way you decide to live your life. The thing is some people never see that unless they are looking in the rear-view mirror. And then it's too late. It's all behind you at that point.

I see many sellers who regret the day they bought their home because it's now a short sale. They wish they did not have to sell as a short sale. I say it's probably better than a foreclosure, and a short sale, at least in Sacramento, has a demand market for it. Regardless of the volatile stock market, short sales in Sacramento march forward.

Here is a short sale in Elk Grove which, in 2006, was named the fastest growing city in America. This is a 4-bedroom, 2-bath home, built in 1988. The sellers installed dual pane windows with grids. You don't usually see those kinds of windows because they are more expensive. Windows cost so much that most people try to keep the costs down and choose the lower-cost windows, but not these sellers.

In the entry, down the hall, and into the family room are beautiful parquet wood floors. There are vaulted ceilings in the living room, family room and master suite. The kitchen is open to the family room, with tiled ceramic counters and built-in appliances. There is a wood-burning fireplace in the family room.

The master suite features exterior access to the yard as well. There a newer looking shed in the side yard with a concrete slab floor. The back yard is mostly paved with brick, but there are bookend raised decks. Off one deck is a pondless waterfall. It's serene and peaceful. There is also a two-car attached garage.

9508 Kilcolgan Way, Elk Grove, CA 95758, is exclusively offered by Lyon Real Estate as a short sale at $185,000. For more information, please call your Elk Grove Short Sale Agent, Elizabeth Weintraub, at 916 233 6759. For a private showing, call Linda Swanson at 916 607 0111.

Photos: Elizabeth Weintraub

I just read an email from C.A.R. that was promoting its HAFA classes for agents. The email implied that SB 458 will now make it easier for HAFAs to get approved, which is so far from the truth that it's laughable. The only reason right now to do a HAFA over a regular short sale in California is to try to get the $3,000. But for some sellers, the hassle of HAFA is simply not worth the headache involved nor the time it takes to get approval.

I am closing HAFA short sales but they are a lot more work than a regular short sale. HAFA has very stringent guidelines, and the type of HAFA determines how the program is worked.

If you're thinking about doing a HAFA short sale, you better call a Certified HAFA specialist to do it or your file could get denied. I got my certification a while back, and I listened between the lines and figured out how to do them. I did not sleep through the webinar. I took copious notes. I am telling you, they are complicated, but I feel competent and confident that any HAFA I tackle will close.

Second to HAFA short sales are FHA short sales. They are not as complicated, but they have their own little quirks. And here is a new FHA short sale listing. This means that HUD will most likely not approve more than 1% of the buyer's closing costs. It doesn't mean I haven't had FHA short sales approved that paid more in closing costs because I have, but it is unlikely to happen. On an FHA short sale, you're generally better off paying cash or getting a conventional loan than trying for an FHA loan with a 3% credit.

This is a charming, and I mean utterly adorable, 3-bedroom, 2-bath in Elk Grove. It's located in the Laguna Park Village subdivision but it is not a zero lot line. There is a tiled entry with soaring ceilings. You immediately feel at home when you walk in. There is a formal dining space in the living room, but also plenty of room in the kitchen for a breakfast table.

The kitchen floors are laminate, and the counters are tiled. There is a breakfast bar, built-in microwave, dishwasher and gas stove. You'll also find sliding doors to the back yard patio.

Down the hall are the bedrooms and baths. The master suite has a huge walk-in closet, almost double deep. Plus a ceiling fan and sliding doors to a second uncovered patio in the back yard.

You'll feel like this is your home immediately. That's because the seller had originally looked at more than 100 homes before she chose this home. I mentioned that her agent must have been a saint. Turns out she had worked with 3 agents. Hopefully, you won't have to look at 100 homes before you find this home. You'll simply walk in, say: this is it and write your offer.

6408 Shasta Creek Way, Elk Grove, CA 95758 is exclusively offered as a short sale by Lyon Real Estate at $148,220. For more information, call your Elk Grove short sale agent, Elizabeth Weintraub, at 916 233 6759. For a private showing, call Barbara Dow at 916 761 7398.

Photos: Elizabeth Weintraub

A TC in my office last week mentioned she was looking for a fun place to go this summer. I suggested the Minnesota State Fair. She looked at me like I had told her to go to Pocatello or some other weird place. Nothing against Pocatello, I use that as an example because a) I've never been there and b) it's in Idaho, land of famous potatoes and, I dunno c) it rolls off your tongue in such a way that it makes you want to repeat it over and over. Pocatello would make a good song chorus.

The Minnesota State Fair is home to food on a stick. Many, many different types of food on a stick. Cheese curds. Pork chops on a stick. Frozen pickles on a stick. Plus, there's the Princess Kay of the Milky Way -- who gets her head sculpted in butter before your very eyes, cows and goats and pigs, the Midway of course -- although it's a darn shame that they did away with all of the freak shows.

But c'este la vie, the Bearded Lady and Lobster Boy are not PC. This year, the Minnesota government is shut down. The Fair starts on August 25th. I've heard that 75 vendors can't get a license, and the DNR (Department of Natural Resources) building will be shut if they don't fix it before then. And people think the California budget has problems. You don't mess with the Minnesota State Fair, guys.

We have our share of short sales in California and in Sacramento / Elk Grove especially. Here is an Elk Grove short sale that is located on a cul de sac. It has 3 bedrooms and 2 baths, plus a family room.

The living room and dining room are formal and the the entry to the home. You'll find fairly newly installed wood flooring in the living room, dining room and family room. The kitchen has ceramic. There is a fireplace in the family room, plus somebody was thinking when they put a ceramic area as the exit to the patio. We get a lot of rain in Sacramento in the winter.

The kitchen and family room create an open concept. The counters are ceramic and curve around creating lots of counter space. You'll also get a built-in microwave, gas stove and a pantry closet. Off the kitchen is a separate area for the washer and dryer with hookups.

Of course, it has central heat and air, plus a two-car garage. Big back yard with a couple of trees and an uncovered patio. This home was built in 2001 and boasts about 1,441 square feet per the assessor.

11 Schramsberg Court, Elk Grove, CA 95758 is offered exclusively by Lyon Real Estate as a short sale at $158,000. For more information, please contact your Sacramento short sale agent, Elizabeth Weintraub, at 916 233 6759. For a private showing, please call Barbara Dow at 916 761 7398.

Photos: Elizabeth Weintraub

As circumstances go in Sacramento short sales, the time that a buyer is likely to cancel is almost always right before short sale approval. It's like they can see that train coming down the tracks and they can't wait for it to pull into the station. They jump in their car and go home. Seems the minute that I tell buyer's agents we're about 10 days away, they tell me the buyer wants to cancel. It doesn't make sense.

But then what about real estate or short sales makes sense these days? Not much. People get highly emotional over the silliest notions; it's human nature to react even if that reaction is wrong. Provides a false sense of security and control, I suspect.

The thing is if a buyer cancels a Sacramento short sale, the likelihood is that buyer will start the process over on some other short sale. Who knows what kind of Sacramento short sale agent they'll get on a new transaction? I hear all kinds of horror stories because, as agents go, we're simply a sum of our own experiences. The more short sales an agent sells, the better and more efficient that agent should be. I've closed a lot of short sales. If I tell you approval is coming, you can count on my word.

I am about to sell another Elk Grove short sale. I am pleased to present this delightful short sale home just outside the city limits of Sacramento in the city of Elk Grove. Although, you'd think you were far, far away in the country somewhere, but you're not. This is a small subdivision near the intersection of Grant Line Road and Sunrise. It's horse property. Traffic on this street is limited to 25 mph. There is a speed bump in front.

This is a 3-bedroom, 2-bath home built in 1974. It is situated on a little bit more than 2 1/2 acres, according to the Sacramento County Assessor. The pasture is fenced, and there is a barn for storage, plus irrigation. The back yard features a covered patio and a grassy lawn area up to the fence. Fruit trees in the orchard, too.

The seller removed all of the flooring and replaced it with oversized saltillo clay tile, except for the bedrooms, which have some kind of Berber carpeting. The temperature outside was over 100 degrees when I was there, and the air conditioning was not engaged but it was very cool inside this home. There are ceiling fans and a whole house fan, which keeps it comfortable. Probably the dual pane windows play a factor, too.

You will find cherry cabinets in the baths, granite counters, whimsical custom vanity sinks, and colorful Southwestern flair throughout.

11811 Sheldon Lake Drive, Elk Grove, CA 95624 is offered exclusively by Lyon Real Estate as a short sale at $250,000. For more information, call your Sacramento short sale agent, Elizabeth Weintraub, at 916 233 6759. For a private showing, please call Linda Swanson at 916 607 0111.

Photos: Elizabeth Weintraub