Club Chaos Agents - All Things Hollish, Wacked, and Jacked

Life With Wee People: Getting ready for Passover chaos...

Nothing beats getting kicked out of bed by your kids in the wee hours of the morning (LOL). I like watching them jockey for position when it comes to getting their kisses and hugs in. We were up late last night getting ready for Passover chaos. We have some of our NYC girls coming down for a visit so we're counting down the hours until they get off the plane (and plotting lots of FL mischief to get into - evil grin).

My kids expect to be hosting a couple of beach outings while they're here. Shorty was singing a love song yesterday about that while Noah fired up the laptop for more wee people dictation. We've been writing our collective butts off and obsessing over the graphic novels. When the girls get settled in I'll share some new art with you guys. We're still mastering Book Club Blues Vol 2 & 3 tracks so this is gonna gt interesting. We're playing tourist for Spring Break (and taking lot of pictures - silly grin). I've been neglecting Localism and YouTube (yeah, I got your e-mails - sigh). The shorties and girls are going to help me post a bunch of fun stuff so stay tuned for the Little Minions editing digital clips. They are getting really good at timeline-drag-and-drop. The special effects keeps them clicking away for hours and now I have to worry about cameras in the fridge and being duct taped to skateboards and bikes (said the chick who taught them to experiment with their creativity - LOL). ;-)

Now if I can just figure out how to keep Noah the Net Geek from opening every other icon on the desktop I'd be a very happy camper. Mr Autism likes running multiple programs and I usually have to close down ten to fifteen just to watch Unbox. He loves keeping busy which usually translates to me being kicked off my laptop for hours (LOL).

Stephen the Minion Blur is a lot easier to handle. You can distract him with loading a Thomas the Train DVD in the living room (and shorty takes off like a bat out of hell to watch it every single time - evil grin).

A reporter at the Sacramento Bee asked me yesterday how I got started in short sales. The Bee is working on a piece about buying short sales and selling them. It's not like I woke up one morning and said I wanted to become the #1 Sacramento short sale agent. As I told him, you go where the money is, meaning you follow the market. No matter how much we might want to dictate our careers in real estate, our careers are pretty much formed by whether we conform to the market.

If you want to buck the norm, for example, and work with only move-up buyers, you might not have as much business. That's because the move-up market is not as active at the moment as the first-time home buyer market. The entry level market is on fire in Sacramento. Definitely a seller's market right now.

So, yeah, to make the same amount of money as I made when home prices were soaring, I have to sell twice as much and work twice as hard, but so what? I love what I do. I love selling real estate. I am not a real estate snob. I will sell a $30,000 condo or I will sell a $3,000,000 home on the river bluffs. Makes no difference to me.

In the old days, once we went into escrow, usually much of the work was over. Now, getting into escrow is just the beginning. With a short sale, I need to negotiate approval with the bank, manage a buyer's expectations and balance BPO values. Plus, there is never any guarantee that buyers will hang around, despite how tight the noose. Although, I probably have better luck than most at keeping buyers in escrow.

I remember that guy in my office backing me up against a wall and asking in all earnestness: "Why would you want to sell a short sale?" I laughed then and I laugh now at that recollection. That was many years ago. Because that's the market. That's what people need. They need an excellent Sacramento short sale agent who is obsessed with short sales and good at her job.

First, I wrote a book about short sales: The Short Sale Savior. Then I wrote more than 100 articles about short sales. All based on my experiences over the past 6 or 7 years of selling short sales. I learned stuff the hard way. For example, in August of 2005, the phones stopped ringing. I looked at those 80 / 20 combo loans and thought what will happen now? If prices fall, then what? Short sales were the answer. I threw myself feet first into short sales.

I predict that short sales will continue to be the answer far into 2015 and beyond.

Amidst all the noise and chatter, we don't have a turnaround in Sacramento. Not yet. And not as far as I can see. I see nothing but short sales and more short sales and more declining prices. It's a bit depressing. It's like the earthworm I flung by accident the other day. Ick. This fat worm crawling around on my garage floor. Too much rain. It was almost as big as a snake and a good 10 inches long. I felt sorry for it and grabbed a piece of cardboard to fling it out of the garage and into the yard. I kept flinging as I walked along and yikes. Next thing I knew I had impaled it on a pear cactus thorn. It dripped earthworm juice in a steady stream to the dirt.

"Oh, you probably think that all real estate agents drive around in Porsches and wear designer clothes." I accused a caller of harboring those beliefs the other day and laughed as I listened to him vehemently deny those thoughts. We both laughed. I laughed for a different reason. I laughed because I was indeed dressed in Eileen Fisher and driving down Interstate 5 in my Porsche. You see, as a Sacramento short sale agent, I have to find my chuckles somewhere. The short sale business is not all slap-stick comedy.

Much of it is helping homeowners let go of their homes. On the one hand, we've got the gritty details of the short sale to deal with. On the other, it's the detachment of a dream. I've worked with several sellers lately in those situations. It's a little bit tricky, because grief and depression can easily slip into their thinking when you're trying to rationalize offers.

I never leave my sellers out on a limb all by themselves. Especially when it comes to offers. Because an offer is not just an offer. An offer is a buyer who will wait for short sale approval and is qualified to buy a short sale. Sellers need guidance to navigate the solutions put before them.

In one such short sale that closed last week, my seller struggled to say goodbye to the home. We had a long relationship, almost a year. The first buyer waited until we were on the brink of approval and then skipped merrily away. The next-door neighbor tried to buy the short sale. Regardless of how many times I warned that Bank of America might not approve a neighbor, due to the arm's length agreement, the neighbor kept pushing.

All parties to the transaction have to sign that agreement, which means I have to disclose known relationships to the bank. But the neighbor thought he could steal the property. He submitted a lowball offer. We countered the offer. The neighbor refused to cooperate, so the neighbor did not get the house. After the first buyer flaked out, the neighbor hired another agent. A well known agent in Elk Grove who had extreme difficulty writing an offer for a short sale. Not all agents are familiar with short sales.

This agent argued profusely over the price. Kept repeating that this neighborhood in Elk Grove was the agent's specialty and the agent knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the home was priced too high. At this point, even if the neighbor offered the price we wanted, the seller was a little bit worn out by the neighbor's efforts. Still, the neighbor refused to offer a reasonable price. The agent was working in some other universe, too. No dice.

We sold to a VA buyer who obtained a VA loan. The offer was more than list price and at an amount we felt the bank would take. The bank took the offer. It appraised at that price, too, by a VA appraiser. And it closed. When I stopped by the house over the weekend, the garage was open and all the windows were open.

The key was still in the lockbox. What? Nobody home? It was possible, I suppose, but I needed to verify. I figured out what had happened. Sure enough, the seller had met the buyers and handed over the keys in person at closing. Sellers don't usually do that. That's the buyer's agent's job.

But to me it meant the seller had closure. Yep, all is right with the world.

Life With Wee People: Cranking out the noise... Catch The Rush

A few of my NYC gal pals are coming down in April (followed by a couple of relatives) so next month is going to be mad fun and very busy. I shall be cooking my a$$ off on the foodie and creative side while indulging in another silly mini vacation. As a general rule I like my vacations to be fun and enjoy being a big 3 year old. I've been a wee bit distracted collecting author swag and quietly running amok doing a massive amount of research. I shall fill you guys in on it all later. I collected a lot of eye candy (happy sigh).

Illustrating the graphic novel has been keeping me mad busy and the draft children books are piling up. I'm bugging my girlfriends to do a few animations with me. We have a lot of material and I've been experimenting with some very interesting software. FYI: My kids are totally into turning me into a twisted version of a Dr. Seuss police sketch artist which is mad fun because they enjoy recording nonsense and I get a kick out of them telling me what to draw (wicked little grin).

We got the information on how to create these puppies from a dear old friend of mine: George Hartman. We like the work he did with his publication so we're having a blast lining up our ducks, dotting our I's and crossing our T's while doing ridiculously fun artwork. Stephen, the Minion Blur has been experimenting with miniature car crashes while Noah, the Net Geek has been lining up the plush toys so he can keep his characters straight while performing. Me? I get to take pics, write notes and draw on demand while the wee people drama unfolds...

When I'm not cracking up with laughter (or being chased around the house by kids wielding magic markers) I sometimes get to take wee people dictation during our creative writing projects. Sometimes these things take a while because Stephen likes to drive miniature cars all over the furniture, build ramps and tunnels and/or rap tracks into the mic while Noah frequently yells and does wild sound effects between spurts of dialog. If you leave him alone and simply observe he'll work out the entire dialogue between Sponge Bob et al and a few pillows or plush toys while at play. Then I have to get all dark and twisty on them to keep things interesting because they are unreliable narrators who can't make up their mind on a daily basis where the story-line is heading (hence the multiple books in progress - LOL).

We have been creating some really fun creatures while messing around with this project (which may require more trips to the zoo for further research because we're mixing and mismatching body parts). Our team pen name is going to be "Stephen C. Noah" while the three of us are wrecking the house engaged in this fun project from little minion literati hell. We'll write in our own names when we actually do something independent of each other.

The boys have a very interesting imagination that keeps me bouncing between libraries thumbing through National Geographic magazines staring at the jungle and people from around the world. They expect their creatures to creep in fascinating landscapes with lots of color and texture... like mud... slime... goo... mars bug pooh...

Yeah... they're picky that way (LOL).

When I'm not maxing out my library card or living in Barnes and Nobles I spend an inordinate amount of time on the floor coloring with the kids and letting them run amok editing music tracks with me. We will give you guys a sneak peek of an author tribute track for Lynn Rush. She has some really cool stuff coming up:

Lynn Rush on Amazon

Lynn Rush's Blog

A bunch of peeps are going to RT but I don't know if I can make it because I have company. On Thursday, April 12th from 4 - 6 pm participants can meet Lynn Rush and more than 125 e-book authors and dozens of graphic novel authors. The RT Booklovers Convention will be held April 11th-April 15th, 2012. The convention will be hosted at 

The Hyatt Regency O'Hare Hotel

9300 Bryn Mawr Avenue
Rosemont, Illinois, 60018
(847) 696-1234

If you can go you really should stop by and get a few autographs, chat with the writers/graphic novel illustrators attending and collect literati swag. We all know how much I like author swag so I'm gonna keep pushing the collectibles button (silly grin). Lynn is really sweet and you guys will adore her as much as I do.

This is a brief 2 minute DM Zone interview on YouTube about her trilogy.

We hooked up a couple of author tribute tracks for Lynn on the Book Club Blues Vol 01 project. The Book Club Blues Vol 02 and Vol 3 projects have been keeping me up for late night because it's been 122 days since my last release and I've been composing like crazy but bouncing the tracks back and forth between music projects (said the anal retentive blogger who can't make up her mind which order the songs should go - LOL).

Lynn Rush has Vol 3 all to herself. She's mad fun to play with online and a very cool social media peep so go follow @LynnRush on Twitter. ;-) 

I really do need to get my musical rear in gear and master the rest of these tracks with the shorties so I can post a tease (because I'm waaaaaaay overdue for some mischief - evil grin). This is sneak peek week (and yeah, I will finally get around to answering some of that e-mail that has been piling up while I've been quietly traveling - silly grin).

My kids are tweaking the re-verb so I gotta go before my wah-wah starts to sound like a metal plate chorus on steroids (melodramatic sigh - head thunks on table - eyes crossing). ;-)

Stay tuned for some new music and more random musings (LOL)...

A reporter for Investor's Business Daily quoted me as a reliable source in an article about mortgage fraud. She chose a statement that needs repeating: "A short sale is a privilege; it is not a right." No government authority is forcing banks to do a short sale. Banks grant a short sale because it makes sense to the bank to do it. If a bank can save 20% to 30% by doing a short sale over foreclosing, it will most likely choose the short sale.

But the bank will want what it perceives to be market value. Whether its perception is based in reality is fodder for another rant some other day. I can say that after doing short sales for 6 or 7 years, as a Sacramento short sale agent, I have a pretty good handle on what a bank will want. I see it time and time again, especially when the bank counters a price that matches my list price.

On one such Sacramento short sale, I had to listen to an agent scream her bloody fool head off because my seller would not entertain her buyer's offer. She could not believe that a seller would reject her buyer's offer. I was driving down Business 80 listening to her shrill voice. She felt her buyer's offer was priced correctly. I disagreed and, by extension, my seller disagreed. Because the sold comps and pending comps supported the list price.

Sure enough, we're in escrow now with a more reasonable buyer and the bank says it wants our list price. No surprise there. This happens over and over and over.

In another short sale, we received 4 offers over the past 10 days. The first offer was $10,000 higher than list price and all cash. However, that wasn't a real offer. When we asked the agent to follow MLS directions, to read the attachments and to resubmit the offer, he vanished, like many of that sort do. The second offer was at list price but that agent, again, did not follow MLS instructions and, when asked to do so, also disappeared.

That's par for the course in Sacramento these days, I hate to report. It's a sorry state of affairs. My sellers are somewhat skeptical when I tell them to prepare for it, but then they see it with their own eyes as well. I send all offers received to the seller, even the bogus ones; I'm required by law to do that. It's astonishing what goes on in the market. No wonder so many other agents are struggling with their short sales when this kind of crap is allowed to happen.

Then, finally, we received two full price offers written by experienced and competent real estate agents. One involved a very small loan, the other was cash. Multiple offers, the same day. The seller accepted the cash offer. I hear the cash buyer was reluctant to offer list price but finally listened to the buyer's agent, and now this buyer is in escrow. If that cash-offer price had been below list price; however, I predict the seller would have accepted the other offer. We don't care where the cash comes from because it's always all cash in the end.

Do I have reason to believe the bank will accept this all-cash offer at list price? Absolutely. I would base my reputation and 35 years in the business on it. Is this a good deal for the buyer? You betcha. That's what we call win-win.

A buyer asked yesterday how I justify a seller instruction for a Sacramento short sale. He said it was not an approved buyer / seller document for a short sale. His agent could not find it in ZIPforms. At first blush, I wanted to say that his agent was too stupid to be allowed to sell real estate, but that would mean I was saying something bad about another REALTOR®, which we, as REALTORs®, believe it or not, are not allowed to do.

First, let's talk about what a short sale seller instruction is not:

#1) Buyers do NOT sign a short sale seller instruction.

#2) The seller's instruction is NOT a buyer-seller document in a short sale.

#3) A seller's instruction is NOT part of the residential purchase contract nor an attachment nor an addendum.

Second, I have never, as a Sacramento short sale agent, met a dedicated seller who didn't care if I sold her home as a short sale. Never met a serious seller who wanted to accept an offer from a "maybe" buyer. A maybe buyer is someone who maybe might buy a short sale home if they still feel like it when a seller obtains short sale approval months down the road. My sellers fervently want to close escrow. That's why they hired me and not some other short sale agent. I prequalify them for a short sale.

You might ask how do I know if a bank will approve a short sale? Short, truthful answer: because Elizabeth Weintraub listed the short sale. Some of my short sales are already approved by the bank when I list them. If a buyer wants to know if a bank will approve a short sale, a buyer should ask the listing agent that question. Only inexperienced agents would be doofus enough to wrongly assume a short sale can't be approved in advance.

Here is what a seller's instruction is:

#1) A unilateral statement by a buyer's agent, based on the REALTOR Code of Ethics.

We can't tie buyers to the front door, much as we might like to. But a seller can insist that a buyer's agent be honest. If agents don't want to sign the seller instruction, the seller will not accept -- and I use the following term loosely -- a buyer's offer.

It's simple; my sellers want to work with a real buyer and an honest agent. Buyers, if you have written an offer that was not accepted on a Sacramento short sale listed by Elizabeth Weintraub, you might want to look pretty hard at your agent. It is possible that your agent refused to sign such a statement.

The statement says the agent will not write any other offers for the buyer while the buyer waits for short sale approval. What a concept, huh? This means a seller and a buyer go into escrow together and -- wait for it -- they eventually close escrow! A short sale listed by Weintraub is no different than any other real estate transaction. I can't speak for other short sale agents in Sacramento, but my business is to close escrow.

See, Article 2 of the Code of Ethics says an agent must be honest in dealings and cannot misrepresent. If an agent's intention is encourage a buyer to break the good faith covenant inherent in offers by writing offers for more homes than a buyer can afford to buy, you've got to wonder why the agent is not reported to the Board of REALTORS®.

Bottom line is if an agent does not want to commit to the short sale process and encourage his buyer to commit, he shouldn't waste energy chasing short sales. It's dishonest. No serious seller wants to enter into contract with them. It's no skin off anybody's teeth to refuse an offer that was not an offer to begin with. That game is for the rookies. When you want to play with the Big Boys, you can call Elizabeth Weintraub at 916 233 6759, and a Weintraub Team Member will help you to buy a short sale.

You can buy one of our listings, or we will prequalify another Sacramento short sale listed by another agent for you. We don't waste time. We close escrow. If you want a job done right, go to the pros.

Stark canvas on the easel waits,
As crayons lurk and pigments fade,
Forlorn, abandoned by the Muse
No hand to craft, no brush to use.
                  (R weisser 2012) 

Creativity is a fleeting quality. On some days inspiration gushes forth like a geyser, on other days it may be more of a slow drip.

And there is a marked difference between technical proficiency and creativity. One may have all of the skills and attributes needed to execute an artistic endeavor, but may lack the creative element that sets the work apart and elevates it to a higher state of recognition.

True creativity excites and inspires. It transcends cognition and arouses lurking emotions deep within the sensibilities. It can be a spiritual experience.

But while creativity can be promoted, it can be neither learned nor taught.

It may be drawn out, like water from a well!

But it must be clean and pure in order to quench the thirst!

Remember how yesterday I was joking? Saying stuff like we'll see principal mortgage reductions when June dumps Ward for Eddie Haskell? Good thing I didn't offer to eat my shoe. Because, out of the clear blue sky yesterday, my managing broker sent me a letter from Bank of America to a borrower in response to the National Mortgage Settlement. This is the historic $25 billion settlement that 49 state attorneys general reached with the top 5 major banks.

Bank of America is taking the lead. Whether your loan qualifies is pretty unclear, but this particular Bank of America borrower is receiving a proposed 50% principal mortgage reduction. This is huge. This is ginormous. This makes a difference. Because many home owners in Sacramento, for example, have underwater homes, some of which have lost more than 50% of value.

In this instance, Bank of America offered a principal reduction of almost $275,000. The catch? The homeowner needs to make 3 temporary loan modification payments of about $1800 a month, beginning on April 1. If the homeowner pays 3 monthly payments in succession, Bank of America says it will offer a permanent loan modification. The interest is less than 3.2%. This means the new interest rate will be fixed for 5 years and then adjust by 1% per year up to an unspecified cap.

Who cares about the adjustable rate? Probably nobody. Because by year 10, the worst that would happen is the rate would be 8.2%. Somewhere along the way a person could most likely refinance because now a person would have equity, even if appreciation remained relatively flat for the next 5 years.

This is an example of the government forcing banks to allow you to short sale your home back to yourself. Who woulda thunk it?

Is it just me or is anybody else noticing this? It seems that people are a lot more touchy these days

And I’m not just talking about business. Real estate at its very core is adversarial, so it’s quite common for buyers and sellers and their agents to get their hackles raised during a transaction.

But I have noticed that the phenomenon has seemed to leach over into nearly every facet of daily life, People seem to want to fight at the drop of a hat.

Is it a sign of the times? Perhaps it is a reflection of the economy.

Whatever the reason, it’s a disturbing trend that I do not like one bit.

And I hope, for goodness sakes, that it changes direction soon!

I can tell short sale sellers that the bank is not their friend until the cows come home for all the good it does. Some people are still stuck in the Wally and Beaver days. Gosh, Beav, it would be swell if we went down to the bank and opened a savings account. Maybe we would see that nice Mr. Foster. He'd give us a lollipop.

Except nowadays you can't call anybody at any company anywhere. There is no personal service. Businesses don't want to talk to you. You used to be able to pick up the phone and, after the party line got off, why, you could call Sears & Roebuck. Not only could you call Sears, but you could call a specific department to inquire whether they carry saddle shoes in your size. Now, if you want information, you've gotta go online or call customer service in India.

Banks are no different. They all hate you. They don't want your money. I don't know what they do want, but depositors, no. Banks have too much money. They don't want to lend it out either. They don't want to modify your loan. If you're got a Freddie Mac or Fannie Mae loan, you can do a HARP refinance, providing that you have mashed potatoes for brains. Just because interest rates have fallen to all-time historic lows -- right up there with the Leave-it-to-Beaver interest rates of the 1950s -- doesn't mean people are stupid enough to want to reaffirm debt, change purchase money into a recourse loan and still owe 2 to 3 times more than their home is worth.

If banks would just reduce the principal balance for homeowners, we'd be out of this mess. That's gonna happen when June leaves Ward for Eddie.

So, how do homeowners get their banks to agree to do a short sale? Most of them stop making their payments. Will the bank tell you to stop making your payments? Probably not, not if the bank really wants to protect its investors and the PSA. That kind of advice sorta goes against the grain, and banks could get sued. That means if your short sale is denied due to no hardship, it's code for: stop making your payments and your short sale will get approved.

Your bank has little incentive to work with you when you're current on your payments. Most sellers need to be delinquent to do a short sale. Why would a bank care what you want as long as you're paying them?

What happens when you stop making mortgage payments? Your account gets turned over to collection. They haul out the big guns. They harass you. They call you at work, at home and on your cell phone, if they have that number. So, if I were a borrower in this position about to stop making my mortgage payments, the first thing I would probably do is change my phone number at the bank so all calls go to an answering machine.

I have no respect for people who work in collection departments. I realize everybody has to put food on the table, but that is such a despicable job. Those people are lower than snakes in the grass. They make slugs look good. The guys at Greentree are especially repugnant. They've been threatening sellers. They make up crap and say junk like: If you don't make a payment, we're not gonna approve your short sale. Out and out lies. They scare people. They're able to scare people because it's the good guys who are not paying their mortgages these days, not the deadbeats.

Don't let collection jerks push you around. My clients notify the collection guys they are in the short sale process and, if the callers have questions, they can talk to the seller's Sacramento short sale agent.  They don't wanna talk to this Sacramento short sale agent, I can tell you that. Although, a collection department for Citimortgage, now known as One Main Financial, actually called me a couple of days ago to ask if I would tell the borrower to make her payment.

Yeah, I'm gonna get right on that. Click.